Saturday, December 22


photo via.

Although I never believed in Santa Claus (which led to awkward discussions on his existence while sitting on fake Santa's lap), I've always loved Christmas. I especially loved it from the ages of 0-12 when it didn't matter what I looked like, what I asked my mom and dad for (Barbies of course) or what I wanted in life (more Barbies and a horse, please). 

Now I am considerably older than 12, I find Christmas has become less about what I am and more about who I am, as shown in, who I am with

The answer though remains the same: no one.

"OMG? No one?!" "Sweetheart, are you okay?" "Grab the gin and force it down her sorry throat." "There is a girl. At a party. At Christmas. And she's SINGLE." "How unfathomably tragic! She must feel miserable."

Well, sorry to disappoint you but I'm not miserable. Not one bit, in fact. What is sad however, is that no one reading this will believe me. Doubters assume I'm 'lying', 'pretending', 'saving face' and 'being stoic'. They whisper to me in hushed tones that I must not worry because 'I'm still young' and 'my time will come...'

Now you can pass that bottle of gin, so I can slam your face with it.

Surviving Christmas as a single has not to do with feeling lonely and unwanted. It's all to do with how to ward off the hordes who try to impose upon you a feeling you just don't feel. 

And when I properly think about it, all those rude questions, horrible assumptions and inappropriate comments about my single status are actually insulting. Why should I feel bad about being alone? Is my company that horrendous I should dread every second of having to endure it on my own? Smiling graciously to those tick-tocking titterers and patronising pouters followed by fleeing the scene of interrogation is way too kind as a response.

If the worst thing that can happen is that I'm single and spending Christmas drinking champagne with my parents, who are both healthy and fine... Well, that's not that bad. There will come a time when they won't be here and I'll miss them terribly. So let's enjoy what is happening here and now. 

In truth I actually end up feeling sorry for taken people at Christmas. The song All I Want for Christmas is You has little meaning if you already have the one you want.

And what remains of the fun of kissing under the mistletoe when everybody would already have been taken?

Also, Christmas with a significant other is wallet-cripplingly expensive. There's the big present for your lover (has to be a biggie if you really love each other) and "thank you for inviting me"-gifts for your in-laws. Instead you can, as a single, use the money to buy something yourself. As long as you spend less than you would have on a partner, you're actually saving money. Right? Probably? What the heck, who's counting?