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Monday, November 11

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SISTERHOOD?


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To this day, reality television and soaps continue to mine the image of women as catty, two-faced, jealous gossips. This reinforces an old stereotype of women as very petty and small-minded, while men are off thinking "more important thoughts" and having it all together all the time. Like they are the smarter and better version of human kind. The funny thing about this oppression is that we, women, still tolerate it. Moreover, we aggravate it by being mean to each other. 

I think that we have become so used to it that we even have stopped realizing it. But the fact is that whenever I get negative comments, it's always from girls. I am convinced that I'm not the only one here.

Where has the bloody solidarity gone? When did we become so warped?

I don't understand why we can't put that energy into uniting and supporting each other instead. In my opinion, men will keep having the power to be sexist for as long women don't stick together and keep hating on each other. If we don't believe we're as great as men, how will we ever get them to believe it too? 

I want to rant about/ give some attention to two issues here in short: our obsession with our weight and slut shaming.

Whether we want to admit it or not, we're all concerned about our appearance. We actually have no choice. Because look at what we're subjected to if we let ourselves slip and be human beings for a minute (read: eat). We get burned by our own gender as though we've committed some sort of crime. When did carrying a bit of extra weight become something to literally be ashamed of? When did food go from being pleasure to punishment? Before gluttony was one of the seven deadly sins, now it seems like even eating at all has become one. Paradoxically, the other side of the story is also not the place where you want to go, because then you're a "self-obsessed attention seeker with no life outside the gym". 

We have got to stop being so hard on ourselves and each other and unite as one to accept all sizes. If you're not built like a Victoria's Secret, then forgive yourself because it's literally a model's full time occupation. On the other side, for as long as you're healthy, it's okay to be thin too. 

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what size you are. So let's stop obsessing about how you or other women look/ eat/ work out/ live/...

The other thing: Sex positivity doesn't make women whores and not wanting to be sexual doesn't make women prudes. We all like to wear different clothes, watch different TV shows and polish our nails in another color, so why on earth would one approach to sex work for all of us? Furthermore it's not our job to lecture women on what is and what isn't socially acceptable. It's a choice to make by everyone individually. No need to psych it out for someone else.

Since men are allowed to make their own choices about their bodies and the way they approach sex, women should be allowed to do the same thing. If Miley Cyrus wants to twerk up and down the stage in a nude bodysuit, that's her call. If you like to hang out with your cat in bed while wearing pajamas, that's cool too. That's her choice, that's your choice. Despite this common knowledge, we're still blaming and shaming. 

But honestly, who cares? No offense, but I actually don't care about who you've slept with or not slept with, if you one night stand it up or haven't slept with anybody at all, if you like to show your curves or keep them for yourself. At long last, it's ridiculous to think we are the sum of our sexual lifestyle. So let's start minding our own business and not whether someone is a whore and who's not, and what distinguish them.

Geri Halliwell had figured it out a long time ago: 
When I came out my mother's womb I screamed: "Girl Power!"
 On this International Women's Day I cry out for more girl power. Stick together, girls.

Friday, October 25

THOUGHTS ON SAYING YES


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We all have those moments when we should have kept our mouths shut ("Thank you sir" "I'm a woman..."), things we would have rather not done ("Yes, I want another gin-tonic."), places we would have rather not been ("So you're a friend of a cousin of the bartender? Thanks for driving me home.") But, where we are right now would honestly not be the same without them.*

As a person with anxiety, I find myself wanting to say "no" all the time. I am terrified of driving, of being lost, of crowds, of new situations in general. This limits me when it comes to the things I enjoy like traveling, taking new opportunities and attending parties. 

For a long time, I said no because I believed my mental state (Zen? Relaxed? Neutral?) was a lot more important than a few unflattering photos of me holding a koala bear or a road trip with my best friend on the other side of the world.

But, I soon realized that plenty of people were going on these trips and parties and random outings and surviving. Moreover were they creating memories that I would never be a part of simply because I was too anxious. 

We often are the ones who block ourselves from making our present moments the best they can be and for pursuing wholeheartedly. That's when I decided to not only prevent my anxiety from getting the best of me, but to consciously shift my mindset. By approaching life as if the answer was already yes, I was giving myself step by step permission to find more and more joy.

Life has only opened up and become so much wider, sweeter and better by saying yes more often. This year I have made memories and, I have survived them.

So.

Say yes to weekend adventures and say yes to that extra kilometer and say yes to appreciating the beauty in your everyday life. Say yes to yoga class this weekend and the surfing lessons next month and living abroad next year. Say yes to jumping into situations head first and say yes to living life to the fullest every single day.

Say yes to change and growth and challenges and lessons learned. Say yes to crazy things that come up that are unexpected and say yes to loving deep and passionate. Say yes to moments and situations that create resistance and say yes to things that turn out a little different than you planned at first. 

Be the heroine of your life and I promise you will survive. I did.


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* The friend from the cousin of the bartender became a good friend, I met awesome people with a little help from gin-tonic and I always have a funny anecdote to tell.

Tuesday, March 26

EXPERIENCE

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Me and my friend after lunch at le pain quotidien:

Me: I'm still on the hunt for the perfect blazer to wear at my friend's wedding, maybe we can check some shops before class starts?

Friend: Sounds good.

In the first store:

Me: *Sigh*. Nothing seems appealing to me. It feels like my attitude towards shopping and new clothes has changed.

Silence.

Friend: Why don't we spend our afternoon at the bookstore and make wish lists for our future libraries instead?

Me: Sounds fantastic.

The happy end.

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Sometimes I wonder if my current attitude towards shopping and clothes stems from the fact that the whole online window-shopping thing and lust for beautiful clothes has been replaced by hours of daydreaming about my West Coast road trip and the quest for Beauty and the Beast's library.

I used to spend hours reading blogs and magazines searching for inspiration for creating my perfect world where I would frolick around in perfect outfits. But since the desire to create this so called perfect wardrobe has gone, I feel refreshed. The hassle of getting something new and looking it over and trying it on seems too much lately. Now I would rather spend my days in the sun, doing pilates or reading a book.

My closet is still far from complete, and it has never been emptier after my spring cleaning, yet I've never been happier with the things I do have. It just seems like I am bored by the constant influx of new stuff, finally

Is it because blogs, and the internet in general, used to be my way to sate my boredom? Maybe it was my way to live vicariously through others? Either way, I think it's time to claim my own life and go live it. Starting with planning my big trip to California in August, starting today with a good workout and healthy meals. Because if there's one thing I have learned: 

Experience > material objects.